Susan Mangigian, Chester County Life

Many years ago, well about 18 and a half years ago, I went to a wedding.  A guy 5 years younger than I was getting married and he was dancing with his mother.  I was just over at my wonderful friend Gary Woltal's blog and he posted a song by Bette Midler called "The Wind Beneath My Wings".  http://activerain.com/blogsview/615344/Heroes-Are-Right-In

Listening to the song reminded me of that wedding so many years ago. 

The groom, Steven, was dancing with his mother to "The Wind Beneath My Wings".   I was crying.  If you know me at all, you know that a common theme for me is tears.  I cry when I'm happy, I cry when I'm sad, I cry at Hallmark commercials, I cry at the movies, I cry when the boy gets the girl, I cry when he doesn't.  I cry when I'm angry.  Okay... I'm a big fat crybaby.

Anyway, the groom is dancing with his mom and I am crying.  One of the owners of the company I worked for at the time sidled over to me.  He asked me if I minded if he asked me why I was crying.  I looked at him at said, "I'm thinking about dancing with my son at his wedding".  He said, "how old is your son"?  I said, "he's 6 months old".  He said, "my wife cried when the kids left home, and I cried when they all came back"!.  Needless to say, that man told that story every chance he got for the rest of the time I worked for him! 

I started thinking about that song and that time and I turned to Michael, my soon to be college student and asked him if he had ever given any thought to what song he would pick to dance with me at his wedding.  I'm sure you can imagine how that conversation went!  Apparently boys don't give much thought to this kind of stuff.  He said he really doesn't think too much about weddings.  I suggested he doesn't think too much about me, period.  He said, "that's not true, you're nice to me and I think about you all the time".  I said, "you should think about me whether I'm nice to you or not". 

And that's when he said it... He said "Mom, if you weren't my mom, I'd wish you were, that's how much I think of you". 

Well, he got smothered with kisses over that little line!  I've always been a sucker for a good line!  One of Mike's first sentences was "too much", in response to my overwhelming affection for him.  I think he felt the same way tonight.  I can't help it.  Pretty soon, he'll be off to an entire new world, one without me at the center.  I am happy for him, but I miss him already! 

Life is not the way it's supposed to be, it's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference. -- Virginia Satir

Wow!  That I should get this quote in my daily Heartfelt Messages this week, when I have been asking why is just amazing.  I was trying to tell Max that while we did adopt a puppy and she got very sick right away, there was a reason.  I told him I really didn't know what the reason was, but that there must be one.  Through his tears he calmly told me he knew the reason.  The reason we got to adopt Maggie Moo and then have to give her up so the vet could attempt to save her life was for just that reason.  Max figures that if we hadn't adopted her, her breeder, negligent at best with the animals we saw there, would never have realized that Maggie was in such dire straights and would never have gotten her to the vet in time.   Max figures we saved her life.  You can see just how happy he was to finally have a puppy~

So, should Max have had the anguish of finally getting the puppy of his dreams and then losing it?  Is that the way it's supposed to be?  The answer is in the quote... it's the way it is.  We coped, with the help of friends, and with the love of a new puppy, JJ!  He's a love and I honestly don't know how I lived almost 49 years without a dog!

Just holding this little stubby guy in my arms makes me literally feel  my blood pressure go down.  Seeing Max with this puppy makes me so happy and grateful.

If you know me, you know that my family and I had a tough week.   We adopted a puppy this week, our family's first baby puppy.  We named her Maggie Moo and we had her exactly 17 hours when she became very sick.  The veterinarian thinks that she consumed some kind of toxin while at the breeders home just before we picked her up. 

If you have a heart at all, you'll understand that Max and I fell instantly in love with this little puppy.  To leave her at the emergency clinic and walk away for that very bad breeder was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.  Watching my 12 year old cry himself to sleep because he finally got his puppy and she was so sick she might die is something I hope not to do again.

My husband, Jack, who had been dead set against a dog for all of our 23 years of marriage was so upset by this turn of events, he called me to tell me we had to find another dog TODAY!!! 

My very best friend has a friend who immediately sprang into action.  He found an adorable puppy at a pet store and called me to tell me about it.  I was very reluctant to buy from a pet store because I have been told that they buy their puppies from puppy mills.  I simply couldn't take the chance of exposing Max to more heartache.  After learning of my fear, my friend's friend checked out the pet store, checked out the place where they got their puppies and made me comfortable enough to go look at the cockapoo puppies there.

Leann drove me down and her friend met Max, Leann and me at Monster Pets in South Philadelphia.  This has got to be the cleanest pet store that housed animals that I have ever been in.  There were 3 male cockapoos.  The first one out just licked me all over and when he got to Max he just started shaking his little stumpy tail like crazy.  Max wanted to be sure, so we trotted out the other two cockapoos.  One was very sweet but not nearly as affectionate.  The third shot out of the back room like a bat out of hell and looked like a wild thing.  Okay, maybe not that dog!  Max opted for dog number one.  I had always kidded Jack that if I ever got a male animal I would call it Jack Junior (Jack is not the animal lover that Max and I are).

Well, my friends, please welcome J.J. (Jack Junior) to the Mangigian family!!  He got a clean bill of health from our vet who actually unbuttoned his shirt, stuffed J.J. in there, buttoned back up and looked Max in the eye.  He deadpanned... "so, did you want me to check out an animal today or did you just stop in to say hello"!  He said that J.J. appears to be a great puppy and he was so happy for us after our harrowing day with Maggie Moo.

I discovered something so important, so earth shattering, I had to share it with you.  I have discovered that the cure for a broken heart is a lick on the cheek from a healthy baby puppy.  Yep, you heard it here.  The cure for a broken heart can be found in the love of a puppy for a little boy who desperately wanted him.

I am proud to introduce you to J.J.!  The newest member of our family!

Special thanks to Ed Angelo, Leann Murphy, Liz Facenda and Larry Wright.  Their friendship and help through this devastating day in our lives can never truly be repaid.  I owe them big time and I love them dearly. 

11/7/08 Update.

I just got an invitation to a puppy reunion.  Monster Pets is inviting everyone who adopted a puppy between July and September of the year to enjoy an evening of snacks, refreshments and fun for the family as the puppies reunite with each other.  I spoke to a lovely woman named Susan Hoagland who tells me she personally visits all of the breeders before she buys a puppy and handpicks the puppies that get sold in the store.  More good news... JJ's brother, who we always called JB for Jack's Brother, was adopted as well!  Max and I are going to the reunion in the hopes that JB will be there too.  Happy endings do happen. 

JJ at 6 1/2 months old

I have always wanted a dog.  My dad did not allow a dog.  My husband did not want a dog.  My 12 year old who celebrated his birthday today wants a dog.  What's a girl to do??? I put my foot down at age 48 and 3/4 and said Jack... We've been married for 23 years, my first son is going off to college, my baby wants a dog and you are just going to have to get over it.  So yesterday, on Max's 12th birthday, we went to a backyard breeder and bought our very first dog. 

Max and I have a very sad story to tell you.  Sometime over the day that we had her, the vet thinks she started having seizures.  She didn't wake up at all last night to go potty and I woke her at 5:30 to see if she needed to go.  She started flopping around and walking into things.  She was extremely lethargic.  We had an appointment with my vet this morning to have her checked out.  When we got there she was almost non-responsive.  Her pupils were completely dilated and her heart rate was extremely low.  He suggested an emergency clinic.  The breeder met us over there.  The vets think that at some point in the last few days she either ate something poisonous to dogs, had a series of strokes, had a parasite work it's way to her brain or had a hematoma on the brain.  They are not sure if she will recover her health or her eyesight. 

Needless to say, Max's wonderful birthday gift has turned very sad and we are both heartbroken about it.  This was the puppy of our dreams.  The breeder has agreed to get her treated but in Max's best interest, I decided that we need to find another puppy.  The conditions of the breeders home were deplorable and it was my gut feeling that we should not get a dog from her, but we fell in love with Maggie and couldn't bear to leave her there.  The vet asked her if she had horses and she said yes.  He asked her if she recently gave them worm medicine and she said two days ago.  We don't know for sure and may never, but the vet thinks it's possible that she ate some horse manure with the medicine in it.

I have a very difficult time saying no to people. 

I am a pleaser by nature and I tend to say yes to many things that I would rather not do.  I have been trying to learn to say no to anything that I will be grousing about doing later.  For example, I was just invited to a family member's baby shower.  I only see this particular branch of my husband's family when a gift is required.  Weddings, showers, etc.  When they decided to downsize, they listed their home with another RE/MAX company and kindly sent me a cute change of address card.  So, I called my sister-in-law, whom I love and said, "I'm not going".  She said "why, it will be fun".  I said, because I don't want to. 

Life is far too short to keep doing things because you have to. 

We have to do so many things.  As a mom, I have to cook.  I have to clean up after everyone.  I have to do laundry.  Now, I know that I don't HAVE TO DO THESE THINGS.  I just feel like I do.  I have to eat to stay healthy.  I have to exercise to stay sane and somewhat thin.  I have to grin and bear a lot of stuff with buyers and sellers.  I don't have to attend baby showers.  I do have to send a gift.

So I am practicing saying no. 

 No. 

I don't think so. 

No, I can't make it. 

No excuses. 

Thanks for asking, but I can't do it.

I saw a tee-shirt in a catalog that prompted this post. 

I like it!! 

According to Forbes magazine, as reported by Realtors Magazine, low cost of living, reasonably priced homes, and short commute times helps add to excellent schools making Chester County one of the top 10 communities as best places to raise a family.

To be considered, the communities had to have populations greater than 65,000 and most of the school funding had to come from property taxes. Average SAT and ACT scores must top 1,050 or 22, respectively. These factors reduced the number of counties under consideration to 51.

After that, the magazine considered cost of living, graduation rate, home prices, property tax rates as a percentage of median home prices, percentage of homes occupied by owners, per-capita income, air quality, crime rate and commute times.

To find out more about Chester County, go to:  http://dsf.chesco.org/chesco/site/default.asp

I just got back from a great, relaxing (surprisingly) family vacation.  I read 7 books and started my 8th by the time I packed up the beach house and headed back home.  Here's a list of what I read. 

Very strange book, but strangely funny.  This book is, in my opinion, really a man's book.  It was crude but some parts were laugh out loud funny.

A J.P. Beaumont mystery by J.A. Jance.  I realized halfway into this one that I had read it before but since I couldn't remember who-done-it, I finished it.  I like J. A. Jance, although I like the Joanne Brady series more than I like J.P.

My son's best friend's mom gave this to me as a gift since we were taking her son on vacation with us.  I have a hard time reading these kind of books, and I am still working on it.  I find that I drift back to fiction.  Could it be that I find fiction easier to deal with than my own life??  Hmmm.

This was about a married woman who goes back to her hometown to attend a funeral and meets up with an old romance.  This was really a cautionary tale about how not to screw up your marriage.

I love this author and I love the main characters, Dismas Hardy and Abe Glitsky.  This was probably the best book I read while on vacation.  Dismas Hardy is an attorney, Abe Glitsky is the detective and the book centers around the Iraq war.  Very, very good.

This was one of John Grisham's departures from the law and thrillers.  It was a nice read but not his best book.  Great descriptions of Italy and the food there made it very worthwhile reading.

 I love this series.  It's a quick one day read for me and that is with me stalling so it won't end so quickly.  Madcap girl, handsome boyfriend and dangerous flirtation with a gorgeous other man.  Frolicking and fun. 

I am about halfway finished with this one.  I like this author, very English.  This is a very good read and I am enjoying it. It follows the lives of two women, one right after WWII, who is a happily married 40 something woman who finds herself attracted to a much younger other man, and a modern day woman in her 30's who is married to a man who desperately wants children and she doesn't think she does.  Their lives are supposed to intersect at some point but so far, they have not. 

I read one more, titled Innocence, that was so bad it really isn't worth mentioning.  One of the few books I tossed in the trash because I wouldn't recommend to anyone.

Let me know what you've read so far this summer. 

Join the Realtors that Read group.  http://www.activerain.com/groups/realtorsthatread